…The Davenports xmas song is back! Download WHORE FOR THE HOLIDAYS here.
You D-port fetishists know this is actually the second version of the song. The first appeared on Hi-tech Lowlife with synthetic timpani. This version hit the melancholy even harder, with the beautiful cello work of Garo Yellin, and heart-beats by Angela Webster and Rob Draghi.
Why another pic of Alastair Sim as Scrooge, you ask? 1) because i’m gunning up to watch it like i do every year; 2) because i stole the warped-sounding bells idea at the beginning of “Whore for the Holidays” from the Jacob Marley scene in the film.
And just because someone asked for them, here are the words:
Whore for the holidays
By now you could explain
What you think you might gain
Drivin your trouble train at xmas
The office party phase
Drunk in a carnal maze
Whore for the holidays–you’re branded with the crack of the first case
And they’re handed their whore for the holidays
Ring ring the closing bell
You can already smell
The chicken wings and well drinks spillin
Decorum is for fools
Tied to their cubicles
You know the normal rules no longer apply once Bing Crosby plays
So we wrong her—our whore for the holidays
Lorraine said ‘I just don’t know how you can do this again,’
but one of these guys takin advantage of me now
will take care of me when the time comes
Squint on your walk of shame
The sun has got your name
on hand cause it’s the same every year
A morning’s hateful haze
Can you still bear your whore for the holidays?




